My husband abandoned our baby and me because of spinal cord defect – Lagos homeless caterer

ANGELA ONWUZOO tells the story of how 36-year-old Lagos homeless caterer, Kehinde Folly and their 18-month-old baby were allegedly abandoned by her husband because he was born with spina bifida. This birth defect affects the spinal cord

life, for 36-year-old Kehinde Folly, has been filled with many troubles after she gave birth to a child on January 23, 2023, with spina bifida, a birth defect in which a developing baby’s spinal cord fails to develop properly.

When Kehinde was pregnant with her only child, Habeeb, she was hale and hearty.

Her husband, Jamal Folly, a furniture maker and Lagos State indigene was super excited having waited for two years after their marriage in 2020 to conceive.

Love gone sour

“I got married to Jamal in 2020 and we were living happily. One year after we got married, he was worried that I had not conceived. By the grace of God in April 2022, I took in and he was so happy and was taking care of me.

“He was always around although he operated his future business in Owerri, the Imo State capital.  But his attitude suddenly changed in 2023 when I gave birth to our baby. He was told by the doctor that our baby was born with spina bifida”, she said.

Before Habeeb was born, Kehinde, by the eighth month, started feeling pain in the lower abdomen, and after a medical examination; the doctor in a private hospital at Mushin that she was using for antenatal care, found out that the baby would be a breech birth.

She was sent for a scan, which further showed that the baby in her womb had water in his brain.

Two weeks after, she successfully delivered her baby through a caesarean section.

The caterer who is also a Lagos State indigene said she was shocked when her son was diagnosed with spinal bifida shortly after birth, being the first time she would hear the medical term, wondering what could be the cause.

Two weeks after Habeeb’s birth, Jamal allegedly abandoned him and his mother when he discovered that the child would be dependent for life.

According to the World Health Organisation, spina bifida is a congenital anomaly (birth defect) in which the spinal column does not develop normally during the first weeks of pregnancy.

This, WHO says, causes permanent damage to the spinal cord and the nervous system and can result in paralysis of the lower limbs or problems with bowel and bladder function.

The UN agency says the risk of neural tube defects such as spina bifida can be reduced by up to 70 percent if the mother takes adequate amounts of folic acid every day before becoming pregnant.

Before her husband allegedly abandoned them, Kehinde said he was behaving as if it was her fault that their son was born with a disability.

The mother of one said she had made several efforts to locate where her husband lives in Owerri and called his phone number but her husband blocked her line.

The young mother, whose catering business was put on hold since the birth of Habeeb, said she and her baby were thrown out of their one-room apartment at Surulere in March by their landlord when their rent expired as she was able to renew it.

 The caterer lamented that it was impossible to make ends meet while providing round-the-clock care for her son.

Many parents unaware of spina bifida

Sharing her experience with According HealthWise, Kehinde said, “I gave birth to him through CS without any complications on January 23, 2023, at a private hospital in Mushin. He is 18 months old now. When I gave birth to him, the doctor told me that he had spina bifida. I asked the doctor, what is spina bifida and he told me that it is a birth defect that affects a baby’s spinal cord. So, he referred my baby to the Federal Medical Centre, Ebute Metta for treatment. My husband said there was no money to take him to FMC for treatment, so I took him home.”

Abandoned two weeks after birth

Two weeks after Habeeb was born, his father returned to his base in Owerri and allegedly refused to take care of the little boy despite being a special child who needs special care to survive.

Kehinde recounted, “My husband travelled back to Owerri two weeks after I gave birth to our son in January 2023 and since then, he has never set his eyes on us again because the child has spina bifida. Before I gave birth to him, he visited regularly; distance was never an issue for him.

“He knows that our baby needs special care but he just decided to abandon us when we needed him most. I have been the one taking care of Habeeb alone since I gave birth to him.

“Although it has not been easy taking care of Habeeb, especially paying for his medication, I am more pained by my husband’s attitude towards him”,  she said, her voice quivering as she fought her emotions.

Lamenting, she said, “Before he travelled back to Owerri, he asked me where I got this type of child from and refused to provide money for his treatment.”

Kehinde, who is begging to take care of her son and place him on treatment, said it was through the help of neighbours that her son was able to undergo surgery in February 2023.

“It was some good -spirited neighbours and relatives that were troubled by the health of my baby and the depression I was battling with that raised money for his surgery and the various tests carried out on him.

“His surgery was carried out at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital in February 2023 one month after his birth. After the surgery, I was told by the doctor to be bringing him for continence treatment.

“Now before the surgery was done, I called his father and he replied that he still did not know where I got the child from. Later, he sent me a little money but still was not bothered about the health of his child.

“After I briefed him about the outcome of Habeeb’s surgery and the treatment required to manage him, he was upset”, she narrated.

The caterer got the shock of her life in February this year when Habeeb fell sick and was admitted to the Mushin General Hospital for two weeks and her husband still did not show up.

Rejected on admission bed

 She shared, “He was sick and suddenly his health worsened. So I rushed him to the Mushin General Hospital and he was admitted for two weeks. He was diagnosed with an infection. When I told my husband that Habeeb was admitted, he only sent N15, 000 out of the N40,000 medical bill.

“After sending that money, he stopped taking my call. It was a Good Samaritan that helped me pay the balance. When I tried to reach him through another number, he dropped the call when he realised I was the one.

“ So, I started sending him text messages, but he did not respond. After I called him further, he blocked my line.

“I have tried to locate where he lives at Owerri, all to no avail. When I complained to his family members, they told me to leave him and find a solution to my son’s problem.”

About 90% of babies with spina bifida develop hydrocephalus —WHO

The WHO says about 80-90 percent of babies with spina bifida also develop hydrocephalus, a condition that causes fluid to build up inside the head, causing pressure to increase and the skull to expand to a larger-than-normal size.

It also states that the condition could cause convulsions, tunnel vision, mental disability, or death.

A Consultant Neurosurgeon at the University of Ilorin Teaching Hospital, Kwara State, Dr. Nurudeen Adeleke, told According HealthWise that the development of spina bifida is a result of the poor formation of the spinal cord, which usually occurs within the first three weeks of pregnancy.

Adeleke said the essence of surgery for children with spina bifida is not really to make them walk but, rather, to make their back look normal and to prevent infections of the central nervous system.

He, however, said that some people with spina bifida can still walk, but that it will only depend on the level of the abnormality.

Further narrating her ordeal, Kenhide whose house rent had expired a month before her son was hospitalised was thrown out of her apartment by the landlord a week after her son was discharged from the hospital.

Thrown out by landlord

She further lamented, “When we came back from the hospital, the landlord put pressure on me to leave his house. He told me that my rent had expired a month ago and unable to renew it and my husband was nowhere to be found.

“When I pleaded with him to give me some time to raise money to pay him, he refused. Instead, he took me to the police station and insisted, I must leave his house. So, I have to leave his house and keep some of my belongings with some neighbours and friends.

“Since February, my son and I have had no roof over our heads. We have been squatting from one place to another.”

The caterer also suffers rejection by some of her siblings owing to her son’s condition.

This, Kehinde said, continues to drive her in and out of depression.

Rejected and injured by siblings

“My mother’s one-room apartment is occupied; some of my siblings are living with her and they don’t even want to set their eyes on my baby. They stigmatise and treat him as if he were an imbecile. Each time I tried to spend a night there, they made life unbearable for us by smoking inside the room.

“Recently, they fought and injured me over a bed space. They refused to let my baby sleep on the bed because of his condition. You can see the injury that I have on my face just because I do not have accommodation.”

Stigma persist despite laws

Despite Nigeria signing into law, the Discrimination Against Persons with Disabilities (Prohibition) Act, 2018, Habeeb suffers discrimination from birth.

According to section (1) of the law, anyone found guilty of discriminating against a person with a disability would be liable to a fine of N100,000 in the case of an individual or N1 million in the case of an institution or a term of six months in jail or both.

The law also allows the Nigerian government to establish institutions that will enhance its implementation such as the Commission for Persons with Disabilities.

Before the creation of that law, Nigeria had ratified the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities on March 30,2007, and its Optional Protocol on September 24, 2010, with the Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development charged with ensuring compliance with the laws and submitting the reports to the international bodies.

Business  crippled

The distressed mother told According Healthwise that her son’s condition had crippled her catering business as she devoted most of her time to caring for the baby even as some clients no longer want to do business with her upon realising that her baby has a disability.

“My catering business was doing very well before I gave birth to my son. But everything changed after his delivery because I had to care for him. I love my son and no amount of rejection and abandonment will make me abandon him. He is the only child that I have”, Kehinde fighting back tears said.

Experts react

Giving further insight into children born with spina bifida, Adeleke said the challenges of raising children with birth defects could be overwhelming for mothers without the support of their partners.

The physician said although the cause of spina bifida was still unknown, it had, however, been linked to poor folic intake during pregnancy.

The consultant neurosurgeon explained, “We don’t really know what the cause of spina bifida is, but we have risk factors.

“One of the risk factors is lack of folic acid in food. Folic acid deficiency in a pregnant woman can lead to giving birth to a child with spina bifida.

“If the spinal cord is not properly formed, that means the function it serves will be affected. Now, whether they operate it or not, that would not affect whether the child is going to walk or not.

“What leads to whether the patient can walk or not depends on how low that spina bifida is. If it is a low spina bifida that is very close to the lowest part of the spinal cord, the child may still be able to walk.

“But if it is higher up, it will affect the function of the lower limb and, therefore, that kind of child will not be able to walk, even after surgery.”

On complications associated with spina bifida, Adeleke said, “Some patients develop hydrocephalus. We have to prevent them from developing hydrocephalus in order not to affect their brain and for them to achieve their full potential.

“They need adequate care and some of them may require walking aids. Some of them may not be able to control their bladder and bowel.”

“Spinal cord controls sensation. So, keeping a child in a particular spot exposes the child to risk of developing soreness.”

He urged pregnant women to take enough folic acid to prevent spina bifida.

The Centres for Disease Control and Prevention urges all women of reproductive age to take 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid each day, in addition to consuming food with folate from a varied diet, to help prevent some major birth defects of the baby’s brain (anencephaly) and spine (spina bifida).

Dangers of poor nutrition in pregnancy

The President, Federation of African Nutrition Societies, Prof. Ngozi Nnam, also told our correspondent that inadequate nutrition in pregnancy leads to poor brain development of babies.

Nnam, a professor of Community and Public Health Nutrition at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, says a pregnant woman is supposed to feed well and have adequate diets at all times for optimal development of the foetus.

Highlighting the dangers of poor nutrition in pregnancy, Nnam warns, “Poor nutrition will cause inadequate development of the baby because nutrients are required for cells of the foetus to develop properly.

“When a pregnant woman stops taking foods rich in iron, she will be deficient in iron and that deficiency will affect the foetus and the cells will not form properly and this will lead to malformation when the baby is born.”

Speaking with According HealthWise, Executive Director, Festus Fajemilo Foundation, Mr. Afolabi Fajemilo, said awareness about spina bifida is still generally low in Nigeria, as people still attach profound cultural and spiritual stigmas to the condition.

He said that there was no available data on the number of people living with spina bifida in the country.

 Fajemilo said, “The fact remains that many of the cases don’t get to the hospital and so are not recorded. Also, there’s no national registry for children with this condition in the country.”

He urged parents with children living with spina bifida to seek help from appropriate quarters and not to allow people to take advantage of their children to swindle them.